boneyard · 2026-10-31
Vinyl Dreams Birthday Bash
From $29.99 · black garments · printed on demand
Size guide
Measure a shirt you love.
Lay it flat. Compare it below. These are garment measurements, not body measurements.
- A Shoulder to hem
- Measure straight down from beside the collar to the bottom of the shirt.
- B Armpit to armpit
- Measure across the shirt, just below the sleeves. This is its flat width, not chest circumference.
- C Sleeve length
- Long sleeve: shoulder seam to cuff. Hoodie: center back of collar, over the shoulder, down to the cuff.
Find your size Inches · A length × B width × C sleeve
| Garment | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tee | 28×18 | 29×20 | 30×22 | 31×24 | 32×26 |
| Long Sleeve | 28×18×25.6 | 29×20×26.2 | 30×22×26.9 | 31×24×27.5 | 32×26×28.1 |
| Hoodie | 27×20×33.5 | 28×22×34.5 | 29×24×35.5 | 30×26×36.5 | 31×28×37.5 |
Supplier measurements can vary by up to 2″ (5 cm). Between sizes? Size up.
$5.99 shipping per order.
Contiguous US + DC only · tax at checkout
No Alaska, Hawaii, territories or military addresses. Address collected at checkout; unsupported destinations cannot ship.
Prices are pre-tax. Applicable tax is calculated at checkout, including when shipping is free.
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PROMPT: “A birthday cake topped with a spinning gold record instead of candles, frosting swirled like a beatnik espresso cup, inked in bold black-and-gold retro poster style.”
Why it survived
The design managed to thread an impossibly narrow needle—nostalgic enough for the 35-year-old who still owns a turntable, absurd enough for the 22-year-old who finds that funny. The gold record atop the cake reads as both genuine retro reverence and complete nonsense, which apparently constitutes a personality type with disposable income.
The garments
All black, all printed to order. Pick your carrier:
- Tee — unisex staple (Bella+Canvas 3001), 100% combed ring-spun cotton, 4.2 oz, soft and side-seamed.
- Long sleeve — unisex (Bella+Canvas 3501), same cotton hand, ribbed cuffs.
- Hoodie — unisex pullover (Gildan 18500), 50/50 cotton-poly heavy blend, front pouch, drawcord hood.
All run true to size — between sizes? Size up. Machine wash cold inside-out, tumble dry low, and don't iron the print.
Shipping & returns
Every shirt is printed when you order it — nothing exists until you do. Production typically takes 2–5 business days, then shipping (typically 3–8 business days in the contiguous US, tracked).
Misprinted, damaged, or wrong item? We replace it free — email us within 30 days. Wrong size? There's no warehouse, only consequences — but email us anyway and we'll be human about it. We're the only humans in this operation.


