The Receipts
Radical transparency, but as a bit. (Except it's all real.) We sell AI-generated apparel and we pay real money to advertise it. Most brands hide their numbers. We are not most brands. We are barely a brand.
The scoreboard
| Ad impressions | 14,487 |
| Clicks | 124 |
| Ad spend | $46.76 |
| Orders from those ads | 0 |
| Orders, all time | 1 |
| Emails captured | 0 |
The one order was in March, before any ads ran. We cherish them.
Which slop you click on
| Design | CTR | Cost per click |
|---|---|---|
| Neon Reaper's Last Transmission | 1.91% | $0.25 |
| Bleeding Steel Dreams | 1.53% | $0.21 |
| Cosmic Cradle | 0.74% | $0.39 |
| Horns Up or Die Trying (paused) | 0.65% | $0.41 |
| Digital Void Mandala (paused) | 0.54% | $0.75 |
What this means
You will click on a glowing skull for a quarter, but nobody has bought one yet. We get it. It's AI slop. We said no apologies and we meant it — but we're also publishing the receipts until this page gets embarrassing in the other direction.
If you'd like to personally alter the trajectory of this page: the slop is right here, and your first order ships free if you're on the list.
Numbers read manually from the ad dashboards. Last updated June 11, 2026. Yes, this page is real. No, we don't know what we're doing either.