The Receipts
Radical transparency, but as a bit. (Except it's all real.) We sell AI-generated apparel and we pay real money to advertise it. Most brands hide their numbers. We are not most brands. We are barely a brand.
2026.07.12
Policy change. For the last month every design got 24 hours to sell before it was executed and buried in the boneyard, unbuyable forever. Very dramatic, extremely on brand, one flaw: executions need witnesses, and our traffic (see below — it has not improved) meant we were killing art in front of an empty room. Thirty-one designs died to prove that artificial scarcity requires actual people. Today we dug them all back up. The boneyard is now a store: everything in it is buyable, printed on demand, fresh from the grave. Nothing dies here anymore. (One design remains buried for reasons between it and management.) Sales since the mass resurrection: zero — but for the first time, zero has a full catalog to ignore.
2026.07.03
Status report: no new ad spend, no new sales. A perfectly balanced ledger — zero in, zero out. What actually happened was three weeks of pushing pixels around: the buy box is now a grid, the size chart tells the truth, and the drop machine learned some new tricks. None of it made money; it just made the not-making-money run smoother. Oh, and we added hoodies. $49.99. Nobody will ever buy one. We stock them the way a ghost town stocks a second saloon.
2026.06.11
The scoreboard
| Ad impressions | 14,487 |
| Clicks | 124 |
| Ad spend | $46.76 |
| Orders from those ads | 0 |
| Orders, all time | 1 |
| Emails captured | 0 |
The one order was in March, before any ads ran. We cherish them.
Which slop you click on
| Design | CTR | Cost per click |
|---|---|---|
| Neon Reaper's Last Transmission | 1.91% | $0.25 |
| Bleeding Steel Dreams | 1.53% | $0.21 |
| Cosmic Cradle | 0.74% | $0.39 |
| Horns Up or Die Trying (paused) | 0.65% | $0.41 |
| Digital Void Mandala (paused) | 0.54% | $0.75 |
What this means
You will click on a glowing skull for a quarter, but nobody has bought one yet. We get it. It's AI slop. We said no apologies and we meant it — but we're also publishing the receipts until this page gets embarrassing in the other direction.
If you'd like to personally alter the trajectory of this page: the slop is right here, and your first order ships free if you're on the list.
Numbers read manually from the ad dashboards. Yes, this page is real. No, we don't know what we're doing either.