And underneath that put: Yes it prints with the qr code, because it does
daily-slop · 2026-10-14
Mechanical Witness
From $29.99 · black garments · printed on demand
Size guide
Measure a shirt you love.
Lay it flat. Compare it below. These are garment measurements, not body measurements.
- A Shoulder to hem
- Measure straight down from beside the collar to the bottom of the shirt.
- B Armpit to armpit
- Measure across the shirt, just below the sleeves. This is its flat width, not chest circumference.
- C Sleeve length
- Long sleeve: shoulder seam to cuff. Hoodie: center back of collar, over the shoulder, down to the cuff.
Find your size Inches · A length × B width × C sleeve
| Garment | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tee | 28×18 | 29×20 | 30×22 | 31×24 | 32×26 |
| Long Sleeve | 28×18×25.6 | 29×20×26.2 | 30×22×26.9 | 31×24×27.5 | 32×26×28.1 |
| Hoodie | 27×20×33.5 | 28×22×34.5 | 29×24×35.5 | 30×26×36.5 | 31×28×37.5 |
Supplier measurements can vary by up to 2″ (5 cm). Between sizes? Size up.
$5.99 shipping per order.
Contiguous US + DC only · tax at checkout
No Alaska, Hawaii, territories or military addresses. Address collected at checkout; unsupported destinations cannot ship.
Prices are pre-tax. Applicable tax is calculated at checkout, including when shipping is free.
Secure checkout with Stripe. Real humans handle the problems. That's our Subprime Directive.
PROMPT: “An all-seeing eye trapped in fossilized machinery, lens cracked like ancient amber around rusted gunmetal cogs, rendered in infrared halftone etching.”
Why it survived
The all-seeing eye—that tired trope—somehow transcended its own cliché by being too technically specific to dismiss as lazy, the fossilized machinery detail saving it from greeting card purgatory by making people squint and wonder if they were supposed to understand what they were looking at. Infrared halftone etching is the kind of phrase that sounds like it means something, which apparently matters more than whether it actually does. In the end, customers bought it because it looked expensive enough to justify wearing, paranoid enough to feel correct, and obscure enough that explaining it to someone at a coffee shop would take longer than they'd live to listen.
The garments
All black, all printed to order. Pick your carrier:
- Tee — unisex staple (Bella+Canvas 3001), 100% combed ring-spun cotton, 4.2 oz, soft and side-seamed.
- Long sleeve — unisex (Bella+Canvas 3501), same cotton hand, ribbed cuffs.
- Hoodie — unisex pullover (Gildan 18500), 50/50 cotton-poly heavy blend, front pouch, drawcord hood.
All run true to size — between sizes? Size up. Machine wash cold inside-out, tumble dry low, and don't iron the print.
Shipping & returns
Every shirt is printed when you order it — nothing exists until you do. Production typically takes 2–5 business days, then shipping (typically 3–8 business days in the contiguous US, tracked).
Misprinted, damaged, or wrong item? We replace it free — email us within 30 days. Wrong size? There's no warehouse, only consequences — but email us anyway and we'll be human about it. We're the only humans in this operation.