BONEYARD DESIGN · dropped 2026-10-16 · exhumed and buyable — printed on demand
specimen · boneyard Arachnid Abduction — TeeArachnid Abduction — Long SleeveArachnid Abduction — HoodieArachnid Abduction — Graphic
SLOP-65094167Teefrom $29.99

And underneath that put: Yes it prints with the qr code, because it does

boneyard · 2026-10-16

Arachnid Abduction

From $29.99 · black garments · printed on demand

Size guide

Measure a shirt you love.

Lay it flat. Compare it below. These are garment measurements, not body measurements.

ABC
A Shoulder to hem
Measure straight down from beside the collar to the bottom of the shirt.
B Armpit to armpit
Measure across the shirt, just below the sleeves. This is its flat width, not chest circumference.
C Sleeve length
Long sleeve: shoulder seam to cuff. Hoodie: center back of collar, over the shoulder, down to the cuff.

Find your size Inches · A length × B width × C sleeve

Flat garment measurements in inches: length × width × sleeve length where available
GarmentSMLXL2XL
Tee28×1829×2030×2231×2432×26
Long Sleeve28×18×25.629×20×26.230×22×26.931×24×27.532×26×28.1
Hoodie27×20×33.528×22×34.529×24×35.530×26×36.531×28×37.5

Supplier measurements can vary by up to 2″ (5 cm). Between sizes? Size up.

Choose your sizes
SMLXL2XL
Tee$29.99
Long Sleeve$36.99
Hoodie$49.99

$5.99 shipping per order.

Contiguous US + DC only · tax at checkout

No Alaska, Hawaii, territories or military addresses. Address collected at checkout; unsupported destinations cannot ship.

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— GENERATION RECEIPT —
CERTIFICATE OF INAUTHENTICITY

PROMPT: “A spider's with segmented legs crawling up a ladder into a hydraulic dumpster, the dented lid hinging open, rendered in dusty rose and buttercream biomechanical linework.”

MEDIUM: machine dream, printed onto your chosen garment
HUMANS INVOLVED: minimum viable
APOLOGIES: none

Why it survived

The dusty rose and buttercream palette performed emergency triage on what was otherwise a genuinely unsettling image of arachnid waste disposal, allowing viewers to appreciate the biomechanical linework without confronting their actual fear response. Turns out people will wear almost anything if the color story makes them feel like they're being ironic about it. The ladder-to-dumpster pipeline resonated with just enough of our audience to suggest that existential dread pairs surprisingly well with soft pastels.

The garments

All black, all printed to order. Pick your carrier:

  • Tee — unisex staple (Bella+Canvas 3001), 100% combed ring-spun cotton, 4.2 oz, soft and side-seamed.
  • Long sleeve — unisex (Bella+Canvas 3501), same cotton hand, ribbed cuffs.
  • Hoodie — unisex pullover (Gildan 18500), 50/50 cotton-poly heavy blend, front pouch, drawcord hood.

All run true to size — between sizes? Size up. Machine wash cold inside-out, tumble dry low, and don't iron the print.

Shipping & returns

Every shirt is printed when you order it — nothing exists until you do. Production typically takes 2–5 business days, then shipping (typically 3–8 business days in the contiguous US, tracked).

Misprinted, damaged, or wrong item? We replace it free — email us within 30 days. Wrong size? There's no warehouse, only consequences — but email us anyway and we'll be human about it. We're the only humans in this operation.

No apologies. Just free shipping.

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