{"product_id":"toxic-punk-reaper","title":"Toxic Punk Reaper","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"margin:1.6em 0;padding:18px 20px;border:1px dashed #888;border-radius:10px;font-family:ui-monospace,Menlo,Consolas,monospace;font-size:.85rem;line-height:1.7\"\u003e\n  \u003cdiv style=\"letter-spacing:.14em;font-weight:700\"\u003e— GENERATION RECEIPT —\u003c\/div\u003e\n  \u003cdiv style=\"letter-spacing:.08em;opacity:.75\"\u003eCERTIFICATE OF INAUTHENTICITY\u003c\/div\u003e\n  \u003cdiv style=\"margin-top:.8em\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePROMPT:\u003c\/strong\u003e “A decaying zombie head bursts upward, winking, neon green pompadour hairstyle, with ragged pale grass green rotting flesh hanging from exposed bones.”\u003c\/div\u003e\n  \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMEDIUM:\u003c\/strong\u003e machine dream, heat-pressed onto cotton\u003c\/div\u003e\n  \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHUMANS INVOLVED:\u003c\/strong\u003e minimum viable\u003c\/div\u003e\n  \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAPOLOGIES:\u003c\/strong\u003e none\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eThe garments\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll black, all printed to order. Pick your carrier:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTee\u003c\/strong\u003e — unisex staple (Bella+Canvas 3001), 100% combed ring-spun cotton, 4.2 oz, soft and side-seamed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eLong sleeve\u003c\/strong\u003e — unisex (Bella+Canvas 3501), same cotton hand, ribbed cuffs.\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHoodie\u003c\/strong\u003e — unisex pullover (Gildan 18500), 50\/50 cotton-poly heavy blend, front pouch, drawcord hood.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll run true to size — between sizes? Size up. Machine wash cold inside-out, tumble dry low, and don't iron the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eShipping \u0026amp; returns\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery shirt is printed when you order it — nothing exists until you do. Production takes 2–5 business days, then shipping (typically 3–8 business days in the US, tracked).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMisprinted, damaged, or wrong item? We replace it free — \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/contact\"\u003eemail us\u003c\/a\u003e within 30 days. Wrong size? There's no warehouse, only consequences — but email us anyway and we'll be human about it. We're the only humans in this operation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFirst order ships free\u003c\/strong\u003e when you join the list — code \u003cstrong\u003eSLOPSHIP\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Slop Culture","offers":[{"title":"Tee \/ S","offer_id":55036132393265,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tee \/ M","offer_id":55036132426033,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tee \/ L","offer_id":55036132458801,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tee \/ XL","offer_id":55036132491569,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tee \/ 2XL","offer_id":55036132524337,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Long Sleeve \/ S","offer_id":55036132557105,"sku":null,"price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Long Sleeve \/ M","offer_id":55036132589873,"sku":null,"price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Long Sleeve \/ L","offer_id":55036132622641,"sku":null,"price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Long Sleeve \/ XL","offer_id":55036132655409,"sku":null,"price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Long Sleeve \/ 2XL","offer_id":55036132688177,"sku":null,"price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ S","offer_id":55036132720945,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ M","offer_id":55036132753713,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ L","offer_id":55036132786481,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ XL","offer_id":55036132819249,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ 2XL","offer_id":55036132852017,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0982\/8764\/9073\/files\/tee_5e091cc8-450b-46e5-a4ee-3d35094daa3c.jpg?v=1783052802","url":"https:\/\/theslopculture.com\/products\/toxic-punk-reaper","provider":"Slop Culture","version":"1.0","type":"link"}